Friday, November 16, 2007
Someone *toot* proclaim tht i am his friend
During special gathering i was not invited, i hated it~ i am angry~ i am sad
So if i guess i am not his friend after all, cux saying and showing r 2 different thing
I am disappointed by him again and again but i have no idea y i still treat him as a friend deep in my heart
Maybe when i am sad, i took him as a wooden block and told him everything?
And his reply was ya ya ya and he started saying abt himself...
Maybe for a lonely person, tht ya ya ya and some reply is a kind of consolation which i could not get from...
If he really treats me as a friend then i guess he is no better then me
I always thot i was a bad friend, since i am always alone... anger was always vent on them
I felt sorry, but there is no whr i could vent on anything
I keep storing all my pains within me until i have anger
No one is thr to hear wat i am up set about
School in poly really sux, i cnt stand it anymore
Ppl who have problem will come to me, when i need help everyone ran away
No one is like a friend to me
I tresure all my sec friend, i always wanted to pull everyone tgt so i wan to take part in both sides activities and slowly drag tgt
But somehow they drifted off again
No one can understand how i feel, some ppl reading this will say he understand, but actually he dont
_just me_
6:42 AM
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
This wk everything go wrong... Gt scolded by lecturer and even classmate, damn it
I din print my work for handing in and i get a stupiding scolding from tht Comm Skill lecturer, haix...
Then the day before this was by a classmate.
I was sitting the the front row because i came early, then she came in late. Very late
Started accusing us tht we sat on her place, in the first place there is no name on the table...
The others start moving so i cant possibly remain thr, but i was like cursing at her as i walk from the front to the back... Sick...
Ask ppl to move off like toking to animal or wat liddat, rude until like freaking hell
Then the next lesson, one of her friend asked me question about programming... She shout "dun ask him la, he this type of ppl wont teach u de la"
I was like so fuked up (sry for scolding), my blood is boiling at more then 100 degree celcius... I also duno how to reach so high without fire
Puting aside wat she say, i finish teaching and then starting cursing her again
Many ppl went out to buy food and drinks
Then duno heaven drop one star hit her head or some chemical reaction in her drink, she came in the room to say sry to me, but of cux i not happy... so i took it as though i nv hear and nod my head for nth...
Shld be her other few friend shoot her until she bo pian so come appoligise la, cnt be she liang xing fa xian de
Today duno y MRT so fast i look at my watch as the MRT move and found out tht i was extreamly early
Odd things happen sia, duno issit my think too much until got hallucination...
Near Orchard or duno issit City hall, got one gal sit further to the other side... Din notice until i was getting down
Cux when i stand up and was getting to alight at Yio Chu Kang station, She was like keep looking at me... Maybe i too ugly la, then she think how come got such an ugly person living on Earth. lolx
Then i could see from the side of my eyes marhx... i thot i see wrong so i turn my head to face her
Like look at each other leahx, then we turn away... Lolx
I looked down on the floor... then i look by the side again
She was looking at this direction again, lolx
Kidda creepy~~~ Then i look over again, then end up same thing happened... both of us look away again
Then the train was abt to stop, i still keep my head low and get rdy to go out of the MRT
She was still looking, joke sia
And the story ends here, i walked out of the train... Hahax
_just me_
4:02 AM
Monday, November 12, 2007
おはいよ
よろしくおねがいします
Actually i also duno wat i typing
Let me have a change la... abit abit
Had been hoping to learn some fighting skill for self defence this few days but no one teach me
Tht day holiday went out tgt with WM and the others cux is JAY CHOU bday (gib him face)
Lolx, no offence
Stayed in LAN for veri long time and then have dinner with them
Ate my fravourite Unagi and also my fravourite ramen
Saying thing i rmb someone owe me ramen, by interest it shld be two bowl now~~
After dinner of cux go back to LAN again, nth special the whole day
Forget to take WM picture which i promise, feel abit guilty now
Waited for 1hr plus before the others come
ONE guy brought his GF here and stayed for TADA!!! 45mins and left
Sad sia... Nan de ke yi meet
Tok to lambert and rui, feel better tht day and hope tht day wont pass so fast
But time is short, my life is even shorter
I'm planning to do another new blogskin IF i have time, but i am so lazy... so i dun think i will
There r many things i wish to do, all i wan is there is someone by be to accompany me and finish things us
Play games, do blog, so on so on
Oh ya, on WM bday one person is missing... duno whr he dissappear to
_just me_
5:48 AM
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Well, basically i am dying???
Hahax
Actually not much happy moments in my life, even if it happens i wont post it
Usually post oni when i am sad~~~
Sch starts again... More worries more pains and sorrow
The time table starts almost everyday at 8am and ends at 6pm everyday except Monday which is 5pm...
The class? They dun treat me as though i exist, i dun think i exist too...
As usual, mum scolding... head thinking and thinking
No one replies my sms, no one online, no one bothers to talk to me
ALONE
I can oni carry my piggy ard with me like a small child, U could say piggy is my best and oni friend...
Always beside me when i need it, always listen to my troubles
One who leaves friend when thr r others which they can gain advantage of...
One who leaves friend when they have galfriend...
One who cant come out and isolate...
One who see poly friend more important then sec friend? or oni me?
One who says sleepy and end up watching TV, ignoring me...
Many Many More~~
This few catogory i think u all knw who la... Duno then nvm... zzz
Cnt even spare the time sms, i also duno y... Maybe sometimes i also? I Duno
U can nv spot your own mistake unless someone tell u, this is Earth
Living things on Earth cnt spot their own mistake... So y ignore others when they quarrel?
Shldnt u be telling the other person wats wrong and listen to wat others say abt u?
U may fight back for your stand, but think while u do it...
I have no chocolate wit me nw, some how my emo% is going up none stop... kidda typing crap now
When emo% reach 100% i may die~~ lolx???
Wats facing me now is my piggy, and computer... As if i was born my the computer or this piggy...
Its a Kawaii Piggy, not those market ugly ones
I knw i look ugly, but nt tht jia lat...
Some pang seh kia ask me to write a song for him, or help him in the sense?
I wrote in on tht day and wanted to send him, i dun even have a chance to tell him~
A frozen world
A cold world
A world with no one
A world with oni music
FrozenSymphony... Haix...
_just me_
10:38 PM
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Home is nv a home... u knw y?
Becux~~ "H"ome -> "h"ome
The H is different. lolx, jking oni
Imagine u alone at home from day to evening... its boring yet peaceful
Everything ard u seems to be your accompanion, however they get bored too and u leave them instead of they leave u
Eventually turning on music, games and some stupid anime which makes a little laughter... Laughing all alone is not tht great u see?
Neighbour might think u r crazy~~~
Always hopign to have someone with u at this kind of moment... then again during the evening
HORROR!!!
A female monster came in from the front door of your hse and shouted your name the moment she enters. Not to praise u, not to reward u... Sing song to u~~~~ lolx
When singing is nt tht nice u will walk somehow further, then it gets louder and louder
Somehow this stupid idiot monster kept all her stupid anger to herself from work... from many many things in the day and shoot all over u
Will u die?
I believe i had always been living... when was my death date? 1990~~ the day when i was so called "born"
Seahx... Becux i am in hell now. It makes sense rit?
Really i dun mind dying early u see... but dun make me suffer
Is either one biang! or silent in slp would be even better...
Y do human scared of death? Many things unfulfill? true... maybe
For me... i kidda useless so most likely i wont be able to do much so no wishes and regretx...
Even if have, my short tern memo might have made me forget it
Human have birthday... birthday = death day
We r born to die... Have u ever hear someone born and not die? Not me... i have nt hear it before...
Sadist..
_just me_
6:20 AM
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Post abit la...
The whole day was OK but boring until nite time, my poly friend told me timetable was out...
I went to have a look, found out that i went in german class...
I was so moody and so angry of myself abt y i din study during the exam perioud while everyone was studying.
I was trying to find someone to tok to. But found out that i dun really have a friend who really cares abt me... I looks so pathetic, such a loser who dun even have a gd friend beside me...
I Stunned
Looking into the computer screen i could not see myself, i'm lost
My mind went blank as i began to type this stupid blog once again...
I quarrel wit someone i shldnt jus now cux i was pissed, one who finds me when in trouble but do not accompany me as well when i need him... Am i jus a reflection of him? I wonder...
Maybe he shld tell me nicely? Did i scold him? No... i was jus scolding my time table
He jus dun understand me... No one really understand me, i dun find myself like a human u see... I'm odd
I seems more alien then anyone although i often call matthew alien...
How i wish thr was a same species as me in place ard me...
Crystal was not in to tok to me... I was bored... We dun knw each other which makes it better to tok...
Somehow ppl tht i knw wont bother me much... i knw tht... cux my attitude really sukx...
Kay wasnt thr... but i dun really tok to her as friendly now... the distance i drifting away~~ Cux we knw each other kidda well now.
I hardly has any friend left...
One by one
They left me
I'm Alone
All Alone
Living in the world of loliness once again...
U knw y the blog has the URL lolilonliness now...
Loli comes from lolishota... i'm short, small in size... not cute but hope to be... cux i am nt gd looking
Loliness is wat u see now...
I cant get my Jap language... I am depressed, I despair... I hope... I desire
Most of the time all those i wished for do not come true~~
Thts y my life is walk one step count one step...
If i were to plan my future 17 years ago... i think i would be dead by now
Cux i would hope to live happily with many friends...
I believe no one will see this post, cux no one bothers me now...
Those i trust left me
Those i hate hates me
Those i love ~~~
Dun tok to me...
_just me_
8:54 AM
Friday, June 29, 2007
Seahx, i'm so sry i made someone angry early in the morning sia... if u reading, sry sry sry x100 siax... but most likely nv see la, tht person also nv tag in my taggy de
Today exam, see the notes so many words also sianx, rather dun study. Early morning wake up find TB then meet tgt go sch... send most of my time in sch library... they start exam at 3pm, in the end i roam like siao... so bored...
Someone say i veri negative sia... lolzx, hmm... must think of something to be positive...
SIA LA!!! i saw one bird fly pass today sia! woah!!! nv see before!!!...
Lolx, jkin nia jkin nia, no offence
Actually is nth nice to write la... not i dun wan
Meet with tht veri high de person, go up GV queue like crazy... in the end no good seats for transformer... well, nth we can do... walk home liao, queue for nth sia...
Nth much to talk lahx... cux in sch almost whole day mahx...
Still trying to say, but i'm afriad we cnt even be normal friends anymore...
_just me_
5:41 AM
